You’ve reached a goal that you’ve been slaving away at for the last year. Maybe you finally nabbed that promotion or self-published the memoir you’ve been working on.
You’ve busted through the yellow tape and crossed the finish line! You smile with joy as everyone congratulates you and pats you on the back, but your mind has already started moving onto your next goal and what you need to do to get there.
Our society is so success-focused that we’ve lost sight of how to be satisfied with what we have. Even when we’ve created our dream lives we can’t recognize when enough is enough and actually enjoy our lives. It’s just on to the next endeavor.
Goals are great, but it’s important to not get hooked on the dopamine rush from checking things off your to-do list. As much as I love productivity, it can be easy to get addicted to completing tasks just for the sake of completing them and the accompanying rush. What you want to focus on is soul-aligned productivity where you’re putting the majority of your energy towards goals that are aligned with your values and are aligned with your true inner self.
Focus on the positive
Even the darkest day has a sliver of light. Training your brain to look for the positive each and every day will help you focus more on what you have to be grateful for.
Make a list of 3 things each day that you’re grateful for. They can be big or small. Anything that shines a little bit of sunshine into your life and sparks joy!
This does NOT mean being positive all the time. Trying to think positive constantly will only leave you feeling like a failure because being positive every second of every day is not possible. Eventually, bad thoughts will creep in.
Train your mind to look for the good, but remember it’s okay to feel your feels even if they’re negative sometimes. Just don’t get stuck there!
Maybe to you, success has always meant having a dependable job with a good paycheck, 401k, health benefits, etc. You’ve never thought about entrepreneurship, but you see how your friend who owns their own business gets to set their own hours and work from home! You want some of that!
What you don’t see is how she works all hours, does the job of multiple people to get her business off the ground, and feels lonely not having anyone to talk to during the day.
If you let others’ definitions of success guide your life you’ll end up chasing someone else’s happiness.
For a long time, I tied a high salary and a stocked up 401k to my definition of success. I worked my way up the ladder in a career I just happened to be skilled in but made me anxious and miserable because it paid a good salary.
When you have a pile of student loan debt and medical bills it can be hard to not make everything about money. Many of my peers don’t even know what an adult life without a crippling amount of debt looks like.
Once I stopped letting others, circumstances, and society determine what success means to be I was a heck of a lot happier. I started to look at careers that I’m passionate about and carve out my path in life. It may be more difficult, but it’s a heck of a lot more rewarding.
Evaluate your relationships
You might just be beginning your adult life after graduating from college or trying to balance a new child with all your other obligations. It doesn’t matter what season of life you’re in, you have limited time each day and the relationships you choose to spend your energy on can either fill you up or take more than they give.
Take time to review your existing friendships and take stock.
How do you feel when you spend time with this person? Do you feel energized or drained most of the time?
Do you feel like the other person is supportive of you?
Do you bring something to each other’s lives?
Spend your precious time nurturing meaningful and worthwhile friendships in your life and be picky about whom you let into your circle of trust.
When you’re getting pulled in all different directions and your to-do list seems endless it can be hard to prioritize happy hours with the girls or a book club brunch. It just doesn’t seem as important in the grand scheme of things.
This is where you need to stop focusing on your to-do list and remember you only live one life. Checking off another item on your to-do list is not going to lead you to a fulfilled life. What will fulfill you is making the time to see your friends and family.
Having a strong social network made up of close friends and family pays dividends when it comes to how happy and fulfilled you feel in your life. What’s the point of all your success if you have no one to share it with who will truly be happy for you? If all you focus on is your goals that’s all you will have at the end of the day.
Sounds lonely, right?
Let go of the green dragon
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. – Theodore Roosevelt
But it’s not actually the comparison that causes issues. It’s jealousy!
Comparison by itself is neutral and can actually help you realize what you want to achieve in life and what goals you want to focus on.
If you’re at the gym running your little heart out on the treadmill and see another woman in great shape squatting more than her weight you may decide that by comparison, her workout seems more fun!
However, if jealousy is running the show, which is more often than not, and you start thinking about how you want a figure like hers and beating yourself up for not knowing how to weightlift yet then jealousy is at play here.
We’ve all been there and it doesn’t feel good. Jealousy robs you of your positive energy, individuality, and dampens your creativity. You aren’t trying to improve yourself. You’re trying to fit yourself into someone else’s mold and that’s a one-way trip to dissatisfaction.
You have NO idea what goes on behind the scenes in their life so stop drooling over the finished product when you see it on IG or in passing.
This does NOT mean going out and buying the most expensive handbag you can find or vacationing in some faraway exotic place every year. It definitely can, but luxury is going to look different for everyone depending on their finances, career, and lifestyle.
Living luxuriously is all about adding a bit extra to your life. I know the term “extra” has gotten a bit of a bad connotation as of late, but so what?
If adding bath bombs to your bath is a bit “extra” I don’t want to be anything else!
Think about what little added things you can incorporate into your life to make it feel a bit more special or fancy.
What makes you feel rich in life? Taking the time to expertly cook a complicated meal? Making sure you give yourself a facial each month? Maybe it’s just taking time to journal each Sunday.
I’ve started adding in meditation music to my nightly shower and skincare routine and it relaxes me like no other. I drift right off and I must get higher quality sleep too because I find myself energized when I wake up instead of lethargic. I notice a big difference when I skip my nightly routine.
I bought this satin silk PJ set when I was healing from my hip replacement surgery because I knew it would make me feel better during a hard time.
I’ve noticed that my surroundings play a big part in how positive and happy I feel. So I’m working on making sure the apartment stays organized and decorating it in a way that showcases my boyfriend’s and my personalities. I love the idea of decorating for fall or putting up a gallery wall, but I procrastinate pretty heavily when it comes to the execution because something always seems more important.
Now that I know how much my environment impacts my mood this task is moving to the top of my list!
My two fave ladies for luxury living inspo are Cara Alwill and Tonya Leigh. Everything about them just exudes high-vibe livin’ at its best so go check them out!
Finding satisfaction with what you have is hard to come by naturally in a society that idealizes hustling constantly to reach your latest and greatest goal. Learning how to choose your own definition of success and cultivate a life based around that can help you break free from societal expectations.
Take the time to figure out what your personal definition of success is and try out the other above recommendations. I promise it’s worth it!
How have you been able to find satisfaction in your own life? Let me know below!
Want to keep reading? Check out these related posts!
- Why Trying to Think Positive is Bullshit
- How to Stop Self-doubt Now!
- How to Create a Personal Development Plan: The Ultimate Guide