Accepting Your Negativity so You Can Be Happier

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41 Responses

  1. Ruthy says:

    Such a great post. It can be easy to think everyone else has it good but you, but that’s not always the case!!

  2. Dana Vento says:

    Definitely needed this today!!! Thank you for posting and allowing us to start our day right. It shows how we are being formed in our daily living.

  3. kumamonjeng says:

    I agree that what we see from IG are only part of our lives and has been polished, it sometimes give people the wrong perception of how we live. That is just the 1% of our daily life. The other 99% we are just wearing our PJ and messy bun at home doing lots of housework and run errand.
    kumamonjeng recently posted…Old Mission Santa Barbara, California USAMy Profile

  4. I totally agree with you on this post. I am glad you wrote it and I think it’s a good reminder. I am currently working on myself, spending a lot of time with myself to become a better me. I hope others will see this post and remember that we are all human and we should just enjoy the moment we are in now.

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Sue,

      Thank you! I felt a lot more chill once I realized how much I was striving towards perfection instead of just happiness and contentedness.

  5. Esme Sy says:

    I agree. There’s nothing wrong about accepting the fact that you may have some bad thoughts about something. What really matters is how it translates into actions and words. Though there are some that are quick to exaggerating that part of their lives and start to spin the table for everyone sitting at the table.

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Esme,

      I totally agree. There’s a huge difference between having negative thoughts here and there vs acting them out. There’s even a huge difference between having negative thoughts and being a negative person.

  6. Ithfifi says:

    You are so right so many times! This is basically how I treat depression (I don’t have it but I take care of myself with mindfulness) If I have a down day I accept it, Its ok to feel that way sometimes, stuff happens. But then its realising when enough is enough and picking yourself up. Esme worded it quite perfectly.
    Ithfifi recently posted…Freehand Toroto Nail Art & Scattered HoloMy Profile

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Ithfifi,

      I love this! Accepting bad days is really important, especially for those who have depressive episodes. Knowing that this feeling won’t be forever can help a lot when you’re lost in the middle of a depressive time. I’m glad it helps those who don’t have depression handle a bad day too.

  7. Deb B. says:

    Yes. Yes. YES! I love how you said “Part of loving yourself is accepting your humanness”. It’s so true, we strive to be always optimistic and suppressing our innate “human” reactions and tendencies – which is silly. At some point, it will just build and come out anyway. I agree – just be real, be human, and stop striving for perfectionism. I truly believe perfectionism stifles individuals – but also affects relationships. I hope we evolve into a world where we all embrace the imperfect and just accept we’re all flawed. Awesome post 🙂

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Deb,

      You nailed it! Thanks so much for sharing and I’m glad you liked it. I completely agree with everything you’re saying. It can be so hard to break out of that mindset, but once you do you feel so much more free.

  8. Elizabeth O says:

    This is a really thought-provoking post indeed. I think everyone has negative thoughts but it’s how we process those thoughts that make us happy or unhappy. I have been really working on this kind of thing lately myself.

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Elizabeth,

      Thank you. Yes, I found that trying to pretend you don’t have them or that you’re failing because you have them just sets you up for so much failure.

  9. NAti says:

    Your article makes me think a lot. In fact I think I’m a good 10 years older than you (maybe more) and I’ve never needed to “accept” my negativity, in the sense that I’ve never been pushed so hard into being positive all the time, smiling all the time, happy all the time and avoid everything negative as the present young generation is being pushed, by media, social media. I think that is a dangerous thing. I embrace my being with its negative and positive sides. There are good days, there are bad days. When things go bad for me, when I’m told I’m ill and I need to be in hospital, far from my children and there is no family who can help and husband needs to go out and work, it is normal to be worried, I have to leave my young children with an unknown person. Negative things happen to people all the time, ALL THE TIME. And it is normal to be sad if you lose someone you love, it is normal to feel down if life is being hard on you. Because if you are not, how are you going to enjoy and appreciate the good moments? Well, in summary. Life is not simple, we are able to react to things that happen to us with different emotions and all emotions are good and necessary. Maybe precisely the fact of calling “negative” to a normal human emotion, lead us to this huge confusion. Let’s be what we are. Let’s handle life as we can. If we force to be happy in a moment we should be sad or worried, those emotions will explode later somehow, or inside us. At least, that’s how I see things.
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    • awaitressnomore says:

      That’s such a great way to look at it and I’m really glad you’ve been able to avoid the perfectionism trap.

      I couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂

  10. Cool post – and I think in many cases it’s good to give someone feedback when they do something “wrong.” In other words, the driver who almost ran you over needs feedback to know that they’re not behaving well.

    How has perfectionism caused you to stop growing?
    I’ve finally started learning how to sing, after many years of just saying that I would never be a good enough singer to make it worth even trying/practicing.

    What is a moment you aren’t proud of but learned a lesson from?
    Plenty of those. I guess I try to learn for next time. But also I noticed that some things are really easy for me, while some things (like singing haha) aren’t so easy. In other words, sometimes I just need to be patient with my self. “Baby Steps”(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl6s6DGapug).

    What is one of the flaws that make you human that you’ve embraced?
    That I’m pretty absent-minded, I might as well laugh.

    Best wishes!

  11. I completely agree with you on this post … Also I recently read something which I found helpful – “acknowledge the emotion you are feeling without drowning in it – approach your feeling with curiosity.” I like that thought. Instead of saying I will never be able to do it – thing – “why do I think, I will never be able to do it.” – I think that is both helpful and productive. Good luck with your challenge.

    ❥ tanvii.com
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  12. Peps Goh says:

    I have a few friends who are really “negative” which is unhealthy in the long run, so these are great advice for them, instead of trying to get them to “stop being negative”, get them to accept it and counter it. My gf does that and she’s way happier now~
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  13. This post is just spot on, everyone has a little negative experience every once in a while embracing it makes it a lot easier to deal with. It’s also essential to remember that no one is perfect irrespective of how hard e try we all have shortcomings .
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  14. Priscilla says:

    Honestly, I haven’t truly accepted my own negativity and a little external stimulant can easily upset my day.
    Instagram makes it worse because I feel more inferior when others are having a great life.

    Although, I like the fact you make a note to yourself that you would want to post an ” ugly crying photo for insta because” you can. but it did not end well when I tried posting such photos before. The curate perfectionism could care less about my being as a whole but shameless, not-my-concern attitude that comes with criticism and demoralisation behind an anonymous identity.

    Now, I heard go through other people’s feed. I feel much better.

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Priscilla,

      I’m sorry it didn’t go well for you. I think it’s really about building the right tribe around you who will support you during your crying moments and your happy ones.

      When I had my hip surgery it truly showed me who had my back and who didn’t. Although that was a hard pill to swallow it was beneficial in the end and has led to me having a much tighter support network that I know I can depend on.

  15. Nailil says:

    This is an interesting way to look at things. Accepting things for what they are can really be liberating and make us happy!

    Nailil
    http://thirtyminusone.com

  16. Corey says:

    I totally agree with you on this post. Well written too thanks for sharing.

  17. Natalie says:

    Love this! Honestly, I find I am a very negative person towards myself more so than I should be. I let constant thought that I am not perfect interfere with my mood/behavior and ultimately, produces more fear.

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Hi Natalie,

      I totally feel that. It’s important to honor those negative feelings, but also to try and understand the difference between negative thinking and the truth. It definitely takes a lifetime of practice!

  18. Aldina says:

    I love the way you look at things! Its like negative thought popping in my brain are just one more thing to beat myself about. Hell no to that. Love it. Thanks <3

  19. Phill Slater says:

    Understanding that a ‘bad day’ is just a ‘bad day’ and doesn’t define you is a real step forward.

  20. So true about giving our highlight real on social media! It is so difficult to not compare but that is where we need to catch ourselves!

    • awaitressnomore says:

      Yes! I’m so guilty of that right now because I’m used to being in way better shape and I’ll find myself beating up after seeing girls on insta. Then I just remind myself of how badass my body is and how much I’ve been through.

  21. I definitely needed to read this today!

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