I’ve had a lot of chronic illnesses that have cropped up over the years from anxiety to pelvic pain disorders to an impingement in my hip that needed surgery. One of the common supplemental treatments that are always suggested is meditation. I have fought tooth and nail to avoid meditation like the plague. I am a body in motion and just the idea of sitting alone with my own thoughts and no noises to distract me makes me want to claw my eyes out. Having had experienced the calming and energizing nature of meditation in my adolescence makes the avoidance even worse because I know how great it can be!
Meditation can pull me out of an anxiety spiral on a stressful day or reinvigorate me on a day when I feel like no matter what I do I’m dragging some serious ass. Some days though meditation is just a pain in the butt. I sit down and all I can think about is how itchy I am, what I need to do when I’m finally done, how long it’s been or get attacked with kisses by Echo, the husky, who clearly doesn’t understand the importance of meditation time.
Despite my avoidance of meditation, I find that there’s constantly a green tea sipping angel warring with my other leather jacket wearing angel (no devils here). Sure, I want to avoid the uncomfortability that meditation sometimes brings me, but I also want the self-awareness and grounding it can bring in a life that is constantly moving.
The hardest thing for me is really just getting started and forming the habit. So, my lovely readers, this is where you come in. I’m going to do 30 days of at least 5 minutes of meditation and update y’all accordingly. Having the blogosphere holding me accountable will help me reach this goal and maybe I can inspire a few people to start their own journey with meditation!
I decided to get back into the swing of things with a guided meditation as I’ve always found those easier than straight up meditation with all my thoughts bouncing around in my head. I tried out this one and ended up liking it a lot. It concentrates a lot on all kinds of healing and since it’s super general it makes it a perfect fit for everyone. I’ve found that some people can legit meditate anywhere at anytime, but I prefer to set the scene with a nice candle burning, my comfy meditation cushion and the shades open to let the sunlight stream in my bedroom.
My thought process pretty much went like this:
I feel like I’m leaning further to one side. ::readjusts booty:: This guys voice is really peaceful. Concentrate on your breathing, Jen. Breathe in the good. Breathe out the bad. Frick, my nose itches. ::tries really hard to not itch nose, but gives in:: What’s for dinner tonight? Staaaahhhp, let your thoughts drift away as your mind just listens to the lulling instructions from this guy who is obviously way better at meditating than you are. Imagine the color of light. Frick, now my shoulder itches. I wonder how long it’s been? Calm your brain, Jen. Mmmm, this feels nice. I can feel my shoulders dropping. Who knew breathing had so much effect. Is this guy gonna talk again or is it just going to be musi—-oh, there he goes. It’s over already?
As you can see, my brain was all over the place, but the point of meditation isn’t to not think any thoughts, it’s to hear those thoughts and let them fly away as you stay in the moment. I’m always going to be an itchy person….just watch me try and do corpse pose in yoga, but you can itch and just get right back in the moment.
I was stressing out at work because my assistant on the account I work on is out for the week and the workload has been a heavy one. I knew I needed to take some self-care time to get my head back on straight because I’m less productive when I’m stressed and more prone to making stupid mistakes. So I just put my headphones on at my desk, cued up whatever meditation music Spotify suggested and got my meditation on. After about a minute I could feel my shoulders dropping and my thoughts slowing down a bit. It was hard in the office because I could hear my coworkers over the music and it would pull me out of my calm headspace every so often, but that’s just good practice to ignore outside distractions!
That wraps up the last few days. I’ll be back with more interesting tidbits on meditation and how the rest of my days are going soon!
See Mediation Series: Part 2 right here.